


First times

by asamandra



Series: Slave AU [2]
Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Slavery, F/M, M/M, Rape, Sexual Abuse, Torture, Underage Sex, slave!Clint, the Avengers aren't nice guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-18
Updated: 2013-09-18
Packaged: 2017-12-26 22:14:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/970894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asamandra/pseuds/asamandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint's memories...</p>
            </blockquote>





	First times

Clint remembered. 

 

 

He remembered the day they told him his parents were dead and he was alone for the first time. It was a female police officer and she just hunkered down in front of him and told him that his parents are in heaven now. Clint looked at her and then he shook his head. “Mum said only nice people are supposed to go to heaven. So mum is in heaven but they won't let dad in,” he said with the earnest of a six years old boy. From now on it was just he and his brother but Barney hated him and so he knew he was alone. 

 

 

He remembered the day they brought him to the orphanage. It wasn't dark and creepy like Barney had told him it would be. It was in fact a nice house, nicer than the house he and his family used to live in. It had yellow and beige and light blue painted walls and there were pictures and books and toys and other children. It was the first time he wasn't scared. Aunt Jenny (he knew that she wasn't really his aunt but they should call them aunts and uncles) showed him his room. He had to share it with Barney and two other boys but he had a bed on his own and Luca and Carmine were nice. They played with him in the garden when Barney wasn't around. One day they were gone and two other boys moved in.

 

 

He remembered the day Barney decided that they would run away. He cried and Barney had yelled at him that he was a baby. He was ten years old and he said, that he would stay but then Barney had said that their parents, that mum, would be disappointed when he wouldn't listen to his own brother and finally Clint left with him. 

 

 

He remembered the first day they slept in a dark, abandoned warehouse somewhere in the slums of the city. He was scared and he saw a rat waiting for them to fall asleep so it could steal the little food they had. “At least we're free here. No one will adopt us and we have only a few days for free left. They would have enslaved us,” Barney had said.

 

 

He remembered the first time he had to steal to get something to eat. The man from the shop tried to run after him but Clint was faster than him. He shared his loot with his brother and a meager cat and he was sated for the first time in weeks.

 

 

He remembered the first time he met the guys from the circus. Clint was twelve and Barney said, they had jobs and didn't ask questions. To them they both were eighteen. They got a bunk in a trailer they had to share with other runaways and they had to work hard for their living. But they got a warm meal a day and they didn't had to sleep on the naked concrete anymore.

 

 

He remembered the first time he saw Trick Shot, saw him shooting with his bow and how good this man was. Apparently he stared at him when the other man found him and he turned to him grinning and asked him, if he wanted to try it. Clint just nodded.

 

 

He remembered the first time he had a bow in his hand. Buck stood behind him and showed him how to handle it and then he shot an arrow and he grinned like a loon when he managed to hit the target. Buck whistled through his teeth and lifted one brow. He asked him if he was sure that he never had shot with a bow before and Clint nodded again. Buck said he should repeat it and Clint shot a few arrows at the target and then he saw the other man nod appreciative. 

 

 

He remembered the day he met Jacques Duquesne. Buck introduced him and they talked about him. They said, he could be a valuable asset. Clint had no idea what they meant with asset but when they offered him to train him and that he could be a part of the show in the circus he nodded and smiled. 

 

 

He remembered the day his training started and how jealous Barney had been. He had beaten him the night before just because Clint was so excited to become an artist. But nevertheless he had given his best and when he fell into his bunk at night he was as happy as he hadn't been in a long time. It was stressful. He had to train with the two of them and other artists but he also had to fulfill his other duties with the circus. As long as he wasn't an artist he needed to work for his food. 

 

 

He remembered the first time he was allowed to appear in the circus ring. He was thirteen, nervous and Jacques waited with him till the ringmaster announced him. Buck was already out in the ring and they waited and Clint trembled when he walked out into the ring. But he also smiled and when the crowds cheered he relaxed a bit. Buck told them that it was his first time and that they should be gentle. He didn't get the ambiguity but the people laughed and that dissipated his tension. He made a few tiny mistakes but when his routine was done the crowd still cheered and applauded and Clint couldn't stop grinning. He was an artist now and that meant no more donkeywork for him. Barney beat him this night again. 

 

 

He remembered the first time Buck and Jacques took him for a 'special mission'. He was fifteen now. They went to a rooftop and then Buck pointed at a window on the other side of the street. He said, the man there with the black suit was his mark. Clint asked what he meant with mark and then Buck laughed and said that it was cute how ingenuous he was. But then he pointed at the man again and said, “Shoot him.” Clint stared at him open-mouthed but Jacques whispered in his ear, “Kill him, or you and your brother are out and on the streets again.” 

Clint knew Barney would kill him and by the way, he himself never wanted to live on the streets again. And so he took an arrow, nocked it, aimed, swallowed and then he took the shot. The man fell down, the others in the room looked around, scared and they drew guns but Buck and Jacques had pulled him away in the meantime. When they were at their car he doubled over, retched and choked out his dinner. He felt tears run over his face and he tasted the foulness in his mouth when Buck handed him a bottle of water and he rinsed his mouth and then he took a few gulps. They said, he was great but Clint only felt numb. He had killed a man. Cold blooded. He could still see the arrow bore into his body and he felt the bile rise again. He cried this night and wanted to run away.

 

 

He remembered the day he tried to run away. This time without his brother. He just had his bow and a few clothes with him but Barney stopped him. He brought him back and Buck and Jacques told him how disappointed they were. They took away his bow and they locked him in a cage by night for the next few months. He promised that he wouldn't try to run away again.

 

 

He remembered the day he fell in love. It was Alfred, the son of one of the guys with their horse-routine. He was two years older than Clint and he was nice. Whenever they had time they spend it together. It was the first time he got kissed and Clint liked it. A lot. Alfred's lips were soft when they brushed his, his hand on Clint's neck held his head with gentle pressure in position and his other hand was on Clint's chest. He opened his mouth and Alfred's tongue slid in his mouth, touched his own and Clint couldn't hold back a moan. When they parted Alfred grinned and said that it was nice, that he, Clint, was a good kisser. They did it again. 

 

 

He remembered the day he touched another man's dick for the first time. He and Alfred were 'together' now for a few weeks and it was Clint's sixteenth birthday. They hid in one of the freight trailers, the one with the horse feed. They laid on a blanket Alfred had brought with him and they kissed and then Alfred had removed Clint's shirt and he had licked his nipples. Clint had moaned and slid his hands under Alfred's shirt to touch his body as well and he loved how it felt. The hard muscles, the soft skin, the warmth of his body, the smell of the horses and they kissed for a long time and then Alfred's hands were on the waistband of Clint's pants and he swallowed hard. Alfred looked him in the eyes and Clint had nodded and then his fingers curled around Clint's cock and he moaned again. It felt different to his own hand and he pressed slightly into the touch. Their lips locked again and Clint felt Alfred rub his shaft and kiss him and then there was this feeling in him, so different to all the stuff he self had done and when the other boy sped up his movements he came, hard and bit in Alfred's lip. “Oh my god,” Clint breathed and Alfred smiled at him and guided Clint's hand to his cock. He slid his hand in Alfred's pants and touched him. His cock was longer than Clint's, thinner and slightly curved. He wrapped his hand around it and started to move it, slowly, like he did it with his own dick. He circled his hand slightly and apparently it was good for Alfred because he moaned louder this time. Clint sped up when Alfred's groans got more frantic and then he felt his hot seed running over his hand and the older boy leaned his head back, heavily breathing, and he smiled at him. Clint looked at his hand, saw the cum on it and then, with a smile, he licked his hand clean and Alfred groaned again. They kissed for a long time afterwards.

 

 

He remembered the day his brother found out about him and Alfred. He yelled at him, called him fag and poof and cocksucker. And he beat him. Clint couldn't perform the next few weeks and Trick Shot and Swordsman were furious at him and Barney. Alfred and his family left the circus right after they got caught. He had never seen him again. Years later he had heard that a bunch of homophobes had killed him after leaving a gay bar. His family had thrown him out and he died alone in a dirty alley.

 

 

He remembered the day _they_ came. They took away everything he had. Not that it was much, but afterwards he had nothing. Nothing but fear. And pain. Barney called him to the trailer that the circus used as office and when he entered and he saw the guys from the slavers guild (everyone knew their uniform) he wanted to run away. But it was too late already. Two big guys blocked the door and they grabbed his arms. “Are you sure, Mr. Barton?” the older guy asked and looked at Clint leering. 

“Yes, I am sure,” Barney had said and then they shackled his hands and gagged him. He tried to struggle but he was sixteen and the two guys who held him were twice his size and four times his muscle mass. Buck and Jacques were there, too, but none of them said anything. Apparently they were okay with this deal. The slaver handed Barney a check and when he saw the grinning on his brother's face it wasn't a small sum. The two thugs forced him to his knees and the slaver attached a collar around Clint's neck. When they led him out and to the bus he saw his friends from the circus. All of them were shocked and Eleonora, the 'snake woman', spat at the slavers and said to Barney, “Sei un stronzo!” before she spat at him as well. He never forgot those words and later he learned that she had called him an asshole. 

 

 

He remembered the first day as slave. The slavers had stripped him, well, cut off his clothes, and then thrown him in a cage in their 'factory'. Clint saw a lot of other men and women, boys and girls, all of them tied and collared, waiting in cages for whatever would happen now. When two guys came to get him he was scared to death. He shivered uncontrollable and if he wouldn't have been gagged he had pleaded. At first they cut his hair. They hadn't shaved his head but they cut the hair down to only a few millimeters. The next thing he knew was that he found himself in a sort of bathtub with a lid. He was still chained when he had to sit in the tub. A woman, a slave herself, filled the tub with water and added the contents of a small vial. It started to stink abominably and then they closed the lid. His whole body was surrounded by the stinking water only his head looked out. The woman had another jar with her and she rubbed the content in Clint's face, but only the lower half. Around his mouth, on his cheeks and his throat. It stank as terrible as the water he had to sit in and it itched like hell. He had to stay in the tub for two hours but the cream in his face was worse. It itched and he couldn't do anything to scratch it. Not only was he chained but also the lid was closed tightly around his neck. When they finally let him out he was on the brink of screaming out his frustration. His whole body itched and he couldn't do anything. They let the stinking water out and then he had to get up. The thugs who helped him wore gloves and then they led him in a shower cubicle and rinsed the fluid off of him. And with it all his body hair was gone. That was the last time he grew a single hair on his body or his lower face. Only on his head he was allowed to have hair. They tattooed a bar code on his left arm and implanted a chip between his shoulder blades. 

 

He remembered that he cried when they locked him up in a cage this night.

 

 

He remembered the first time he got sold. It was on an auction and he got brought out on a stage. They tied him to a pole and his naked body was visible for everyone in the crowds. He didn't listen to the biddings, he was too concentrated on breathing and this was really difficult right now. When he heard the auctioneer screaming, “Sold!” he finally looked up and saw the man he's been sold to.

 

 

He remembered his first Master. He never found out his name. He was only Master. The man couldn't wait till he was at home. The first time he raped him was over the hood of his car in the parking garage below the salesroom and the kennels. It hurt. It hurt so bad and Clint wanted nothing more than to scream out his pain but he refused. He bit his lips till they were bloody but he never screamed out. It felt as if he had tried to rip out all his intestines and when he was done he felt blood and semen run down his legs. Master shoved him in the trunk and when they were at the house he would live now other slaves brought Clint to his quarters and cleaned him there. When he was alone in the night he cried. But never in the presence of Master. Master kept him for four weeks. He disliked it that Clint refused to cry.

 

 

He remembered the day he met his first Mistress. Mistress Diana bought him to breed her female slaves. She kept him in a kennel outside of the house in a hut and he had to have sex with at least two slaves a day till they all were pregnant. He had to stay in the kennel but it was okay. He got two warm meals and the kennel wasn't as uncomfortable as he thought it would be. Mistress Diana never beat him. When he displeased her she took away his food for a few days but she never beat him. She kept him for two years and he impregnated each of the women she had at least thrice. It was awful. They had to produce children and then they got taken away to be raised as perfect companion slaves for spoiled brats of rich families. 

 

 

He remembered the day he was back on the block, the day he met Master Samuel. Master Samuel was a cruel man. He loved to torture him. The year he was with Master Samuel was the worst in his live. He was constantly in pain and Master Samuel was the only one who managed to force screams out of Clint. He prayed every day to each god who was maybe willing to listen that he wanted to die but nothing happened. He stayed alive and in pain for a whole year. Then Master Samuel was tired of him. He wanted fresh blood and Clint was back on sale. 

 

 

He remembered the day he was bought by Master Oliver. Master Oliver figured out soon after he bought him that Clint was trained as assassin during his time in the circus. And Master Oliver was very pleased with it. He bought him a bow and took him with him on his missions. He was an assassin again. This time he didn't puke anymore. It was better than to get tortured and raped. He killed more than hundred people in the few months he was with Master Oliver. 

 

 

He remembered the day Master Oliver go arrested by some guys in suits. They wanted to capture this man for a long time and now they had not only him but also his assassin-slave. One of the men, a big, black, bald man with eyepatch wanted to shoot Clint but then another man spoke up for him.

 

 

He remembered the day he met Master Phil. Master Phil took a look at him, looked him in the eyes for a long time and then he begged the man with the eyepatch to give Clint to him. And after some hesitation he agreed. Clint was now the property of Master Phil. And Master Phil was different to all his previous Masters. He was kind. Clint slept in Master Phil's apartment, he got a bed on his own and he didn't have to kneel in his presence, only when others were around. He got healthy food and Master Phil didn't torture him. He didn't force himself on Clint. He took him with him to work and there he met other slaves who worked for SHIELD. That was the name of the organization Master Phil worked for. The other slaves worked in administration or in the infirmary or wherever they were needed but they weren't Agents. But Master Phil saw what Clint was capable of and he asked Director Fury, the man with the eyepatch, to test him. Clint got better grades than most of the Agents and they were trained for some time now. Director Fury was indecisive but then he saw Clint, saw what he could do, saw him with a bow, with a rifle, with a gun, saw him fight hand to hand or with knifes, even with a sword, and he said, he had never seen a better marksman. And so Clint got the first slave ever who became Agent of Shield. He got a special status, of course, and he had to stay with Master Phil but he was now an Agent. Clint smiled broadly when he got his own uniform.

 

 

He remembered the day he realized that he was fallen in love with Master Phil. It was a long week, they were on a mission in Saudi Arabia and the mark nearly had killed Master Phil. It was Clint's prompt decision that saved the day (and Master Phil by the way) and he was so happy that the older man was unharmed that he fell to his knees and embraced Master Phil's legs. 

“Clint, please. Stand up.” Master Phil took his hand and he rose and then he smiled at Clint and hugged him. Clint pressed his head on the smaller man's shoulder and he took in his scent and he bit his lip to hold back the tears in his eyes.

“I'm sorry, Master Phil.” Clint tried to apologize but Master Phil just shook his head and they went to their shared hotel room. This night he slept in Master Phil's bed. Just beside him, fully clothed but with his arm around Clint's waist and he felt safe. For the first time in ages he felt safe. 

 

 

He remembered the day he met the Black Widow. He was in Warsaw with Master Phil and they had the mission to kill her. Clint was in a perfect position but then he saw her. She was perfectly trained but nevertheless, Clint could see it in her eyes. She _wanted_ to die. He nocked his arrow and aimed at her and this moment she looked up from her spot in the street below him and she looked directly at Clint. She looked him in the eyes and Clint lowered his bow.

“What's the problem, Hawkeye?” he heard Master Phil's voice over the comm.

“The day you arrested Master Oliver... you looked into my eyes. What did you see, Master?” Clint asked and he knew that all of the other Agents could hear them. He didn't care. He heard Master Phil sigh but then he answered. “I could see that you wanted to be saved, that you've been worth to be saved, Clint.” He said.

“I can see that in her eyes.” Clint answered and Master Phil was quiet for some time. Then he heard his voice again. “Stay put, Hawkeye. Keep an eye on me.” A few seconds later Master Phil was down and went to the woman. She tilted her head and looked up to Clint one more time. She lowered her head for a second and then she talked to Master Phil. 

 

 

He remembered the day the Black Widow became an Agent of SHIELD. He was there with Master Phil and he congratulated her. She smiled at Clint. “Thank you,” she said and patted his shoulder. She got a second chance. Like he had gotten. The only difference was that she was still free.

 

 

He remembered the day he kissed Master Phil for the first time. It was unexpected but the feelings were so overwhelming. Clint got hurt through a mission and Master Phil waited beside his bed for him to wake up. When he was fully awake he couldn't resist any longer, he leaned in and stole a kiss. Master Phil was shocked at first but Clint could see in his eyes that he had liked it as well. He apologized and Master Phil looked away. Two days later he was allowed to leave the infirmary and when he was back in Master Phil's apartment he found himself pressed against the door and Master Phil kissed him. Long and passionately and Clint loved every second of it. He moaned and wanted more but then Master Phil drew back. “We shouldn't do this,” he breathed and looked guilty. 

“But you want it.” Clint only said and swallowed. 

“Yes, but... your status...” Master Phil looked at him and Clint stroked his cheek. 

“I know, legally I don't have the right to say no. But would you believe me when I tell you that I really want this? That I want you?” 

“Clint, please...” 

“I want you. Even if I was free and if I had the right to say no... I wouldn't.” Clint made a step in his direction.

“It's not right.” Master Phil said and Clint could see the inner turmoil. 

“But it feels right.” Clint said. “Would you kiss me if I was free?” He asked and after a second Master Phil nodded. And Clint made another step, cupped Master Phil's cheek with his hand and placed his lips on his, parted his lips with his tongue and groaned when the smaller man opened his mouth for him. Their tongues touched and they sucked and nibbled at their lips and it was the most intimate kiss Clint ever had. 

 

 

He remembered the day he told Master Phil that he loved him. They were in Master Phil's office, Clint lounged at his couch and read when he heard Master Phil look in his direction and smile. It was this tiny smile that said, that he was happy and Clint smiled back. He rose, went over to the desk and kissed the older man and when he stroked his cheek and hummed his agreement Clint drew back and looked in his eyes. And he could see the love in his expression. He kissed him again, quicker this time, smiled and then he had said it, “I love you, too.”  
Master Phil's smile got even broader and he let his hands run through Clint's short hair and kissed him again.

 

 

He remembered the day Master Phil said he had a surprise for him. They both were stationed at Project PEGASUS facility somewhere in the Mojave desert. He cooked dinner in their shared quarters and when they had dessert Master Phil said he was at the registration office and he had filed a petition to deregister Clint. 

“You want to free me?” Clint had asked and stared open-mouthed. Master Phil only nodded. And when Clint wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him he smiled. He knew it was the right decision. 

 

 

He remembered the day Loki appeared. He was on guard duty for Dr. Selvig and the Tesseract when the Asgardian appeared and took him away. Later, when they had him back and his mind was free from the mind-control, when they had fought against the Chitauri and defeated them, when they were back at the helicarrier, Natasha told him that Master Phil was dead. And Clint broke down.

 

 

He remembered the day he lost everything. For the second time he lost everything. Master Phil was his life, his love and now he was dead. Everyone said it was his, Clint's, fault. And he couldn't say anything because he didn't remember. He could see the disappointment in the eyes of all the other Agents and in the eyes of the Avengers. He wasn't allowed to attend Master Phil's funeral, he was confined to their quarters. He laid on the bed he had shared with Master Phil and had cried. It wasn't the fact that Master Phil had intended to free him. No, it was the fact the he lost his love for the second time. And every time his whole life went to hell in a handbasket at the same time. 

 

 

He remembered the day he was given to the Avengers as slave. Director Fury accompanied him personally and when they entered the Stark Tower he had to kneel. 

“You know that Clint here was Phil's slave. I guess, it's for the best when you have him. He's the best marksman we ever had and he can enhance your team. He's all yours now.” Clint could hear in Director Fury's voice that it was meant as punishment. He and Master Phil had been friends for a long time and even the Director thought it was his fault. And maybe it was. When it was his fault that his Master was dead he would take his punishment and so he never said anything about the petition to deregister him. 

 

 

He remembered the day they found Master James. Master Steve was so happy and Natasha, who knew him years ago, was happy and when Master Steve was happy then Master Tony was happy as well. Master Bruce and Master Thor didn't say anything but they also seemed happy. Master Steve said, that now they don't need him as sniper on the team anymore. His duty was now to keep the team happy. Clint swallowed. He knew what they wanted from him but he kept quiet. He didn't wanted to disappoint Master Phil, even if he was dead, and so he took his punishment. Master Phil always was so fond of Captain America but now that Clint knew Master Steve he was sure that Master Phil would've been disappointed with him. Captain America was a hero and he and his team saved the world but Master Steve was cruel. 

 

 

And then... then Master Phil came back...

**Author's Note:**

> [asamandra on tumblr](http://asamandra.tumblr.com/)


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